What Have I Done? This Is Going To Be Awesome.

It's a lazy Saturday afternoon.  I just finished reading "The Help" for my book club.  Tony left to watch the soccer game at a friends house.  Beckham is sleeping.  Faith and Mia are playing with their friends in the backyard.  It's about time for me to eat lunch and take a shower, however, I keep getting interrupted by the girls crying or complaining or asking for something.  It's then that I think, "I've had it.  Enough.  I'm done.  I need a timeout."  I walk into my bedroom close the door, turn the lock just as Mia walks into the house crying, again.  I think, please....ANYTHING to get away from this for a little while.  It's at this point I hear a text come in.  It's from Amy, the conversation is as follows:
"can you go skydiving in 30 mins? I know you want to.  You, me Tanya."
"I'll call Tony. he's not home.  how much does it cost? that's the first thing he'll want to know."
"are you serious?"
"are YOU serious?"
Steve will tend your kids for you."
"I'm calling Tony."  "what time do we leave, when will i be back and what should i wear?"
"are you in? 2pm, exercise shorts and running shoes.  Be back around 5ish."  "I'm coming over"
"almost ready."  "I'm in the garage...are you driving?"

and there you have it.  Within 30 minutes I was on my way to Skydive Utah.  I didn't have time to shower so I put on deodorant and some makeup.  I figured I was going to be sweaty nervous and if I died I wanted to have some makeup on for the YOU Tube video. 

Tanya drives, Nate is her friend from work and sits in the front seat and Amy and I are in the back.  They can't believe I would do this at the last minute.  Maybe this is just how I am because it doesn't seem that weird to me.  They ask what Tony thinks.  His only request was that I drop the kids off at his friends house where they were watching the US play Ghana.  He did send me a text later saying be safe and I love you.  Be safe?  Maybe he doesn't fully understand what I'm going to do.  I ask him if it's because he thinks I might die (jokingly...kind of).  He replies that it's the least he can say when I've decided to jump out of a plane on a whim.

I sign my life away, pay twice as much money as I thought it would cost, watch a video that claims I can't sue and then tells me to remember three things: Bellybutton, Breathe, Banana.  That's all I have to know?  Amy and Tanya make me queen of "the club".  I don't know what club it is, it's just nice to be recognized as The Queen.  It didn't occur to me that it could be a club of crazy people that go from finishing their book club book in the morning to saying yes to jumping from a plane without batting an eye in the afternoon.  Just call me Queen Crazy; I can think of several loyal subjects that will jump out of a plane in my defense.

Tony surprises us and shows up with my kids and Amy's family.  Mia hugs me, starts crying and says "don't jump out of a plane momma, you might die."  I reassure her every things going to be alright, but nobody is there to reassure me.  I'm not sure I want my kids there to watch.  What if the unthinkable happens...what if they want to jump out of a plane one day because of me?  I realize as I write this my mom will find out what I did this weekend.  Sorry mom.  What have I done?  This is going to be awesome.

Kids start complaining they're hungry.  We have 40 minutes till take off.  Tony and Steve run to get snacks for the kids. 

We get our harnesses on.  No Tony and Steve.  They get the plane ready, take some pictures.  Still no Tony and Steve.  I'm angry.  This is just like them to drop off the kids, disappear and make us late for jumping out of a plane.  I'm stalling as much as I can.  I'm even more angry, this is supposed to be MY time out.  Everyone starts to walk towards the plane.  We make the kids promise to stay put at the tables and we get in line to load up.  I spot Tony and Steve walking in.  Phew.  Now I'm not angry, just nervous.  My deodorant sucks.  What have I done?  This is going to be awesome.

Our little plane starts down the runway.  There are four of us first timers, our tandem partners, three videographers, and one frequent jumper packed in it.  The frequent jumper is sitting on the floor hanging out the open door.  He's nuts-what if he falls out of the plane?  Oh wait, we're all going to fall out of the plane.  We get a little higher and they close the sliding, plexiglass plane door.  I look out the window and the terror is sinking in.  My partner, Justin, leans forward and says "Well, we're past the point of no refund."  They're a fun group so there are constant jokes about harnesses needing duct tape to stay together, how Tanya's harness looks too big, a lot of "if the chute opens" and about how many people they've lost today alone.  I try to relax a little though you wouldn't be able to tell.  I'm stone cold quiet.  I have a forced smile stuck to my face, I mostly just nod.  Amy is chatty and twirling her hair...these must be nervous habits.  My body feels like rubber.  I attempt a joke about the plane looking like it's being held together with cargo tape, because there's cargo tape up and down the walls and around the windows.  I have crazy butterflies.  My hands are cold and clammy.  What are all the B's?  Why can't I remember that one?  Review.  Toes over, chicken wing, head back, Banana.  What kind of jackassery have I got myself into?  It's going to be awesome.  Seriously, what is that B?

Justin says it's time.  They slide up the piece of plexiglass posing as a door.  Out goes the frequent guy.  Justin says "stand up".  I try, but I'm pretty sure my legs don't work.  I'm only able to stand up because we're strapped together and he's standing.  Out goes Tanya's videographer and then Tanya's tandem.  My videographer goes.  How is everything happening so fast?  I step up to the edge and do as I'm told.  Toes over the edge of the plane? Check. Man, it's windy...and a little cloudy.  Grab onto my harness at the shoulders-make chicken wings. Check. Head back? Check.  I don't have to close my eyes but I can't focus anyway so I do.  Rock forward once, back once and GO.  I let out some holy hells and whatnot, my stomach drops and I open my eyes.  I'm disoriented.  The sky rolls back to where it's supposed to be.  We must be done flipping.  Justin taps my arms so I reluctantly (because for some reason the straps are comforting to hold onto...as if I might fall if I let go.  Odd, I know.) let go of my harness and Banana!

It turns out you can't hear a lot when you're free falling at 120 mph from 13,500 feet.  My videographer comes over holds my hand and we spin in a circle.  It's beautiful.  I can see the Great Salt Lake, the mountains, and the fields as if I were still in the plane.  Breathe! That's the B I forgot.  Breathe through your teeth (not your nose-this results in funny pictures of flared nostrils).  It's impossible to breath going so fast otherwise.  My stomach has settled.  Oddly, it only dropped once when I flipped out of the plane.  I'm comfortable enough to think about laundry and dinner when I get home.  I should have started the laundry this morning.  Wow, the earth really does look round from up here.  It feels like flying and it's not even cold.  It's just gorgeous.  I already want to go again.

It takes only about 60 seconds to hit 5,000 feet and Justin pulls the cord.  It jerks us around a bit but everything is going perfectly and the chute opens.  Justin hands me the handles and says "Do NOT let go of these."  Should I really be trusted with this?  He shows me how to do spins in the air.  It's just as fun as the free fall.  He tells me I can let go of the handles now because he's got them.  I don't like giving them up.  We talk about the landing.  Depending on the wind we'll either slide and I'll sit on top of him or we'll stand.  He decides we'll stand.  We come in kind of fast.  I lift my feet up; his feet land and I put mine down.  Rides over.  It was AWESOME.  I whoop it up and look for people to hug; happy to have made it.

Hugs all around. Justin, Tanya, Nate, Amy.  We survived.  My family is there watching.  Mia can't contain herself anymore.  She runs and jumps into my arms.  More hugs and pictures.  Who wants to go again? I wonder.

Things I've learned:
1.) It's possible my kids will be the death of me because my time outs are AWESOME.
2.) I'm a borderline adrenaline junkie.  I'm concerned I'll never top this, though.  Maybe I'll get certified.
3.) If I'm talking and laughing I'm not that scared, it's when I'm quiet and still that I'm on the verge of passing out. 
4.) Columbus was right about the earth being round.
5.) Left to themselves people will not spell my name right.
6.) Nobody looks good free falling at 120 mph with their face flapping in the wind.

I get home, start dinner and laundry and do some gardening.  All in a days work.